Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? - Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
what do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly Mammoth.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball 🏀 with a pig 🐷?
Because he’s a ball hog.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Teacher:what does a pig give you Little Johnny:Bacon Teacher:good,what does the sheep give you Little Johnny:Wool Teacher:What does the fat cow give you Little Johnny:homework and says leave motherf*cker
whats the diffrence between a dog and a dad ? The dog comes back
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
what do you call a pig that does karate
PORK-CHOP
Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because he kept on running out of the pen.
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Like if your bestfriend has a dog
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers
