Animal jokes
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
Memes
bombastic side eye
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
moo.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.