Animal jokes
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.