Animal jokes

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.

What do you call a bee’s love?

Honey.

What do bees do when they get married?

They go on a honeymoon.

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.

What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

What talks high pitched and can't fly?

A gay man in Iran.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To die.

moo.

What's a furry's favorite news network?

Fox!

What do you call a dog that tells time?

A watchdog.

What does a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabytes.

Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

What do you call a cow with no toes?

Lac-toes intolerant.

What do squirrels and men have in common?

They always want a nut.

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!

Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.