What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
Animal Jokes
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
How did the chicken š feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
What makes a raccoon š¦ very rich?
Its rings!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is a monkey with a head?
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats donāt hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You donāt understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats arenāt venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"Iām Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Who is the king of the insects š?
The Monarch!
What is mad cow disease?
Why can't the cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
