Animal jokes
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
When do cows moo? Moosday.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!