Animal jokes
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.