What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
