Animal jokes
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
I am starting a frog cult now!