Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
My favorite animal is a cheetah so I hope the jokes are good
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
