Animal jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
I am starting a frog cult now!
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.