Animal jokes
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!