Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fuck you, that's why.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
What's the difference between a duck?
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!