Animal jokes
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road? To prove that he was not chicken.