Animal jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
Where do whales get weighed?
The whaleway station.
Bants ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahashahahhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.