Animal

Animal jokes

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”

  • 0

    • 20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

    How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

    3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

    Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.

    Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)

    3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)

    Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

    Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

    Does your cat scratch you?

    Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

    A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

    So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

    The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

    The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

  • 4

    • A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

    The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

    Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

    Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

    Me: Aren't you my son?

    Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.