Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
"Fish, why you no fly?"
"I don't like being caught naked."
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.