Animal jokes
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Donkeys are cool.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in on his flat mate.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
rat gaagah?
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear bum!