Animal jokes
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Would you rather:
Fight Mike Tyson
Or
Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What do you call a fish with no neck?
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.