Animal jokes
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What is a fish without an eye?
A fsh, LOL!
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.