Anal Sex jokes

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

What's the difference between anal and oral sex?

An and Or!

What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

They are not for kids.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.