Anal Sex jokes

Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?

A. A backroom deal.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.

Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."

Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?

- No more tears.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999

A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.