Always jokes
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!