Always Jokes

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.

Why you always in a mood?

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

What is the continent that ALWAYS sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and that is so tired that it won’t wake up? Eur-ope.

The comic strip shows a boy expressing that he feels alone, followed by his parents comforting him. In the last panel, the boy is standing in front of two mirrors, one reflecting his mother and the other his father, indicating that he's alone after all.

Why do orphans love tornadoes? Because they always pick you up!

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

Yo mama so fat, when she takes an elevator, it ALWAYS goes down!

Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”

Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.

Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?

A: They always seem to cut a little too close.

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?

They were always using pyramid schemes!

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.

You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!

Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?

She wipes with a Brillo pad.

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.