Always jokes
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.