Always jokes

I have always been scared of stairs; they're always up to something.

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?

Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Don't believe what your school bully tells you.

Always take it with a grain of assault.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.

Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!

Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!

Kariah: That's sad!

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?

Home Depot.

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"

So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."

They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"