In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
