Always jokes

Why did the rapper always carry a map?

So he could navigate his way through the rap game.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

Because they always return.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.

I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

Feel free to comment.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

The salad could be dressing!

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.

The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.

🎆 New Year's Eve

Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"

Mom👱🏻‍♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"

Dad👨🏻‍🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.