Always jokes
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
No one has my back like my dad.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.