Always

Always jokes

Rat

47 views ·

There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

Woman

33 views ·

So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.

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  • Feminist

    23 views ·

    Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.

    (Like if you hate feminists.)

    Foreskin

    11 views ·

    Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

    Clown

    9 views ·

    Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

    A: Because they have the balls to.

    Bottle

    9 views ·

    It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

    Internet

    8 views ·

    Why do bugs hate the internet?

    Because they always get caught.

    Get it? Inter-net?

    Law

    16 views ·

    It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

    Pimp

    208 views ·

    What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

    Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

    Funeral

    12 views ·

    My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

    But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.