Always jokes

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.

Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.

Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)