Always jokes

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

Why was the rapper bad at baseball?

Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.

I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.

Just to test their patients.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Why do disabled people always get picked on?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?

Accountability.

He was a head of his class... Mom always says, "Stay ahead!"

I'm always hanging in there.

Hanging on the wall.

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?

Why did the rapper become a construction worker?

Because they were always BUILDING UP their RHYMES!

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.

Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.