Always jokes
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.