Already

Already jokes

Smoking

  • I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

    Mama

  • Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

    Gun store

  • I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!

    Guy

  • Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?

    The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.

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  • Son

  • Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

    Mom: No, that's impossible.

    Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

    Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

    Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

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  • Mom

  • Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

    Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

    Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

    Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

    Angel

  • Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

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  • People

  • We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.

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  • Parachute

  • What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

    One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

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