Already jokes

What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.

Why is it called a building if it's already built?

Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

Why can't emos have ADD?

'Cause they are already scatter-brained.

A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?

The apple was already bitten.

Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.

One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.

"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.

We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.

OKAYYYY guys, today we're going to make DIY bath bombs. I bet y'all already have the first ingredient right here in your kitchen:

*looks at toaster*

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they have already lost 2 towers.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”