Airplane

Airplane jokes

Door

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.

  • 1
  • 9/11

    Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

  • 0
  • Pilot

    Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

    He was the best pilot in Arab.

  • 2
  • Memes

    Doctor

    doctor: you need to eat healthy.

    me: no.

    doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

    me: oh my goodness.

    doctor: in a plane crash.

    me: that sounds unrelated.

    doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

    Family

    The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

    Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

    Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

    Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

    Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

  • 0
  • Forehead

    Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

    Twin Towers

    dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

  • 2
  • Flight Attendant

    It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

    "What are my choices?" the passenger said.

    "Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.

    Plane

    Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

  • 1
  • Girlfriend

    How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

    You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

    Sorry.

  • 0
  • 9/11

    When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

    9/11

    What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

    Smash.

    (Get it?) 9/11.