Airplane jokes

What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?

"Here Comes The Airplane!"

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.

Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" the passenger said.

"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.

Who read the most words?

911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.

I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.