Airplane jokes

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.

The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?

One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.

What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.