Airplane jokes

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

I saw some twins, so I threw a paper plane at them.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.

Why did the plane cross the sky?

To hit the Twin Towers...

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

What's grey and can't fly?

A parking lot.

It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

What do we want? Plane noises!

When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.