Airplane

Airplane Jokes

An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.

It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."

The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"

The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"

The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.

Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.

Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"

Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore. And if I tried it would probably crash and burn. It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.