Age jokes
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.