Age jokes

Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?

Because it was over 10 years old.

What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's 20 of them.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?

A: There's 20 of them.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.

Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."

Nurse: *Laughs*

Kid: "Why are you laughing?"

Nurse: "When I get OLDER."

Proceeds to laugh.

So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."

What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.

When your grandma says she's rusty but still manages to teach you.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

if priests were on Twitter, they would tweet, "He's a 10 but he's 10."

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak!

Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?

A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.

Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."