Age jokes
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Memes
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.