Age jokes

When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.

What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?

Answer: Forever 21.

My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

My father left me at a young age.

He was only five.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

What is a pedophile's favorite age range?

9-11.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"