Age jokes
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
A young couple gets banned from church.
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.
After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.
Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.
"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."
"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"
"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.