Age jokes

When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.

My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?

That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr

My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.

If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

My father left me at a young age.

He was only five.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them.

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.