Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years in a basement.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
I like my women how I like my scotch 11 years old and mixed with Coke
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
