Again jokes

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?

"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.

I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.

Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.

Apple: What?

Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good night, Dad."

"Good night, Mamah."

"Good bye, Papa."

The next day her papa died.

He heard her saying them a month later.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good night, Dad."

"Good bye, Mamah."

The next day her mamah died.

Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.

"Good night, Mom."

"Good bye, Dad."

The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.