Aed jokes

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.

It couldn't answer.

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

What do you call a midget born from precum?

"Half Nut!"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!