Aed

Aed jokes

Squirrel

    • Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

    A: Act like a nut.

    (Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)

    Aed memes

    Depression

    • OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

    ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

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    • Paul Walker

    • A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

    Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

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    • Anorexic

    • I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.

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    • Devil

    • So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

    A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

    Toilet

    • Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

    1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

    2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

    3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

    4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

    5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

    6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

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    • Chocolate

    • The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

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    • Child

    • The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

    The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

    Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

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    • Baby

    • What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.

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    • Sandwich

    • Three men are working on a building site.

    Every day, they sit down to eat their lunch together at the top of the building.

    The first man opens his lunchbox to reveal a ham sandwich.

    "By god," the man exclaims, "I hate ham sandwiches. I’ve been working in construction for twenty years, and every day, despite me telling her how much I despise it, my wife gives me a ham sandwich. If I get a ham sandwich in my lunch again, I will throw myself off the top of this building and kill myself."

    The second man opens his lunchbox, revealing a cheese sandwich.

    "Holy crow, another cheese sandwich! I hate these things, I tell you. Every day, I tell my wife how much I despise cheese sandwiches, but I still get them in my lunch. I’m with you buddy—if I ever get a cheese sandwich in my lunch again, I’m killing myself."

    The third man, having opened his lunchbox, now pipes in.

    "I don’t believe it—another tuna sandwich! If I had a penny for every time I’ve told my wife how much I hate these, I wouldn’t have to work on this sordid site no more! I’m sick of it—count me in, if I get a tuna sandwich in my lunchbox again, I’m killing myself."

    The next day, the three men regroup at the top of the building and open their lunchboxes: the first man – a ham sandwich, the second – a cheese sandwich, the third – a tuna sandwich.

    The three men exchange solemn looks before jumping in unison from the height of the building.

    At the funeral for the three men, their grieving wives turn to each other.

    "If only I’d known how much he didn’t like ham sandwiches," says the first man’s wife, "I always thought he was being ironic!"

    "And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like cheese sandwiches," says the second man’s wife, "I always thought he was being sarcastic!"

    "And if only I’d known how much he didn’t like tuna sandwiches," says the third man’s wife, "but I don’t know what good it would have done—the fool made his own lunch!"

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