Aed jokes
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.