Aed jokes
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
For Charlie D'Amelio fans, my basement is your home now. Leave a like if you agree with me.
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
What do you call a bored robot?
A “sigh”-borg.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.