Aed jokes
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."