Aed jokes
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.