Aed jokes
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.