Aed jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."
When your mom pulls the "I put food on the table, I put clothes on your back, I put a roof over your head" card.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
My brother when he sees a girl.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.