Aed jokes
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.