Aed jokes

How do you start a fight in space?

"Comet me, bro."

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?

A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

What is a cannibal's favorite drink?

Coffee.

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't have a home plate.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

Two Asian people have a black baby.

Something wrong.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.

..., I'm gay.

A. No

B. Maybe

C. Leave blank

D. Yes

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”