Aed jokes
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.