Aed jokes

A ginger.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

What is the best way to end a cookbook?

And that’s a wrap!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a Risk I was willing to take.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.

Cashier: Is this your final purchase?

Customer: Actually, yes it is!

What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?

They both have no meaning.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.

What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?

None, because they both forget a lot.

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

This is a true fact, the letter "F" in orphan stands for family.

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?

Only the taste.