Aed jokes
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
What do you call a money hungry Hispanic?
Don Jewlio
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!
Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"
#she is sex*
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.