Aed jokes
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.