Aed jokes
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."