Aed jokes
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
A seal walks into a club.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"