Aed jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
That one stupid kid in class :
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?
Because it required a parent's signature.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.