Aed jokes
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What is the difference between a human being in the car with the snow and a tree and a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your name on it haha 😂 day a day I was thinking of a good
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
Perfect
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."