Aed jokes
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
A seal walks into a club.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."