Aed jokes
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?
Because it required a parent's signature.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.
I wish I was a toe because I want to be banged all day.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.