Aed jokes

What did a cat say to the dog?

"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"

Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll.

Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

What does Army stand for?

Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

What do you call a bus full of stoners?

The Magic School Bus.

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"